Clive PiG
Clive PiG

All About Clive PiG

Clive PiG is a storyteller, songsta, performance poet and potato juggler. Born in St. Albans, Hertfordshire, he attended the Muriel Green Nursery School.
Nowadays he lives on Dartmoor in Devon with one wife, two sons, three chickens, four bicycles, five guitars, sixty-six shoe boxes of allsorts, seven stamp albums, eight puppets, nine recorders, ten table tennis bats and a sack of juggling potatoes.

Several times a day he stares out of the window and jots down a few words in his notebook and later taps a lot more into his electronic gizmo.

Every so often, if he can manage to get out of the house without tripping over the chickens, he likes nothing better than to take his words off the page and put them on the stage.

He’s sung songs in America and told tales in Asia. He performs at the Glastonbury Festival and has been the Bard of Exeter.

As well as appearing at festivals and theatres, Clive entertains in schools, prisons and old people’s homes. He’s juggled spuds at weddings, told jokes at funerals and often materialises in deep dark woods and haunted castles.
Once he put on a puppet show in the cougars’ cage in a Cornish zoo. Clive PiG’s unique storytelling style is theatrical and interactive, combining music and song, rhythm and rhyme to enchant audiences of all ages.

Why Clive PiG?

Last Saturday morning at six o’clock in the evening, I was deep in conversation with my two best friends, Aaron Aardvark and Bella Bandicoot. We were discussing the trials and tribulations of being lumbered with such silly surnames.

They asked how I came upon mine and I told them it was all my parents’ fault, particularly my dad’s.

To be honest with you, I burst into tears the moment I was born. You see, I learned that the name of my father was Raymond Horace Piggopotamus.

Now, in 1957, it was cool to be a Clive, but it was my surname I was upset about. How would you fancy your first day at school if your name was Clive Piggopotamus? And what about when I grew up and became a bank manager, a head teacher or the Prime Minister? Everyone would laugh when Mr. Piggopotamus came into the room.

It was all right for Dad, he had a tough skin, but I’d only just been born and I was all pink and soft and sensitive.

So I decided to do something about it. I crawled to the kitchen, climbed on to the table and grabbed a pair of scissors. I started to snip-snap-snip at the letters of my surname. Off dropped the s, next went the u, the m and the a.

More and more letters floated to the ground like leaves from a tree. I’d almost got rid of my embarrassing last name when my mum dashed into the room and shouted,

‘Put those scissors down, right now!’

I dropped them to the floor and put my hands up.

‘I’m sorry Mum,’ I said, ‘I just couldn’t face the thought of going through my life being called Clive Piggopotamus.’

She replied, ‘Don’t worry dear, you won’t have to now. Luckily, I stopped you in the nick of time. There are still three letters of your last name left. From now on you’ll be known as Clive PiG.’

And that is how I got my name.

And if you believe that story I’ll be very pleased indeed because that means we’re going to get on like a house on fire.

Clive’s School Visits

Clive’s dramatic storytelling style is suitable for all ages. From his vast repertoire of myths, legends, fables and folktales from around the world he takes the words off the page and puts them on the stage.

During the course of a day he performs several storytelling sessions lasting from 30 minutes to an hour. Often he kicks off Book Week, or rounds it off with a whole school assembly. Equally happy with small or large groups, he’s able to perform in the classroom, the library, drama studio or theatre.

These highly entertaining sessions can be followed with writing or drama workshops. He also runs storytelling workshops for teachers and parents sharing his Top Ten Tale Telling Tips.

Some schools have booked him for four or five days but he’s happy to come into a school for just one or two days if it can be combined with another school in the area.

Clive’s Books

PiG’s Tales

pigs tales

Stand Up Stories, Comic Poetry & Juggling Potatoes

Have you heard the one about about the West Country woman married to the Buzzard Man? Have you ever wondered what it would be like to wake up and find you’ve turned into a Chocolate Kid? Have you ever looked into the mirror and nobody was there?

If the answer is yes, or if the answer is no — it really doesn’t matter, give it a go.

PiG’s Tales is a compendium of Clive’s choicest cuts: some of them to be spoken, sung or shouted; some of them to be read curled up in bed.

Jurassic Cove

jurassic-cove

To purchase Clive’s books, click here.

Sample of Clive’s Poems & Stories

Sasha Squished A Spider

Sasha squished a spider,
It was an accident.
Its insides oozed outside – ugh!
Its little legs were bent.

Her mum said, ‘Don’t be sad,
No need to look so glum.
Some good can come from bad,
Let’s make another one.

‘Take this tasty meatball,
Add eight thin frozen chips.
Choc-chips make great eyeballs,
Or even orange pips.’

Then it clambered to the rafters
Like a Himalayan yeti,
And lived happily ever after
In a web made of spaghetti.

Nice Is Nasty

Nice is a nasty little word.
It should not be seen,
It should not be heard.

It should not be written,
It should not be said.
It should never ever get out of bed.

It should crawl away and say goodbye.
It should curl up in a ball and die.

Juggling Potatoes

When you’re juggling potatoes
As everybody knows
It is very funny
If you drop them on your toes

But you won’t make much money
And the crowd won’t feel so chummy

If you fumble
they will mumble

If you bumble
They will grumble

There’ll be a right old rough and tumble

If potaters hit spectators
And spuds bonk them on the nose!

Recommendations and Reviews

“The icing on the cake has been the attendance of Clive PiG. His storytelling and workshops have been unbelievably dynamic. Watching his energy and enthusiasm for his craft has been inspirational and I have no doubt he will leave BSM having inspired a new generation of storytellers.” Simon Mann, Head of School
“Clive Pig’s visit to our school was a rip-roaring success! It was definitely money well spent, as he worked his socks off, performing 27 separate sessions over 5 days. He has an almost hypnotic knack for commanding the attention of a hall full of squirming small children, all of whom lived, breathed and felt each of his stories. In fact, age is immaterial when it comes to Clive’s wide repertoire, with all students (and staff!) aged 3-13 utterly engaged and entranced, leading to inspirational drama and writing. Clive was a gentleman, charming everyone he met on campus, and was quite flexible, offering at the last moment to perform an extra assembly at the end of the week. He even performed at Sekolah Bisa, a local charitable school set up and run by our IB students, and was just as well received there, even though they have very little understanding of English.

In the words of Josephine (Year 7): “Clive Pig was really, really entertaining and funny and the best poet we’ve ever had.”

and William (Year 2): “Clive made the stories so funny! He used silly voices for the characters and music. I felt happy and scared and excited and was sad when it finished.”

We are sincerely hoping that we can welcome Clive back to BIS again soon.” Jo Osman, Literacy Leader, BIS Jakarta

“Thanks so much for spending four days at Bangkok Patana School. Our students, teachers and parents all had a wonderful time. I have never heard so many compliments about one person – your ears must be burning! I was amazed how you could make such a positive connection with such varied audiences. We were all entranced. What a great way for us to celebrate World Book Day!” Sally Flint Head of Libraries, Bangkok Patana, International School.

“Clive Pig is an inspiring and imaginative storyteller, his workshop techniques are digestible for all levels of students learning storytelling. I will definitely be booking again in the future.” Louise Millward, Performing Arts Lecturer

“He doesn’t just tell the story, he lives the story.” Emma Cordy, Stage Manager, Big Top, Kidz Field

“You’ll dig Clive PiG, I did.” John Hegley

To Make a Booking

To make an enquiry about Clive PiG, or any of the other authors, poets & illustrators listed on this website, please phone Trevor Wilson on +44 (0) 1535 656015, or email him at trevor@caboodlebooks.co.uk

Further information on Clive PiG is available from his website: http://www.clivepig.co.uk.