All About Chris White
Chris White is an author and illustrator extraordinaire. If you like your poetry wild, zany and yucky, you’ll certainly find plenty to laugh at. But, in poems such as “Elvis the Ugly Baby” and “The Little Blue Lion“, Chris also delves into difficult ideas about what is and isn’t “normal” and how individuality counts. And, of course, being Chris, he manages to make it funny as well.
A versatile writer and performer, Chris has worked in a broad variety of settings including prisons and women’s institute venues! Chris has participated in the BBC’s Digital Curriculum Project aimed to provide online literacy assistance for children, as well as appearing in BBC 2’s performance poetry programme ‘Off By Heart’. His poems have also been featured on CBBC and BBC radio.
A fusion of mini-rock-concert, mad-cap poetry and a 21st century-style draw-along may seem an unlikely hotchpotch of elements, but these varied ingredients have provided Chris with a recipe for success in his hugely popular act blending humour, illustration and poetry. Chris has taken his poetry and pictures performances and workshops to many countries around the world, including Vietnam, Jordan, China, Russia, Germany, France, UAE and The Congo.
Whether on stage under the bright lights at a festival (Birmingham’s Young Readers UK, Sheffield’s Off the Shelf Festival, Ledbury Poetry Festival, Sharjah’s Children’s Reading Festival, Qatar’s Book Festival, Edinburgh Fringe etc.), or working with small groups at close quarters in a library, Chris manages to convey his enthusiasm for poetry, books and reading, and inspires his audience to share this passion.
Chris hails from Derby and enjoys a huge fan-base in the Midlands. He began his performance career working closely with Birmingham’s Stories from the Web clubs which quickly led to demand from schools, festivals, libraries, teaching conferences, literacy co-ordinators and EAZs for his input. Chris currently writes full-time, taking his unique poetry showcase country-wide.
Chris is pictured above during his set at the Edinburgh Festival 2017.
Chris’ School Visits
Armed with drawing board and colourful imagination, Chris encourages his audience to chant and draw along as he plunges them into his wacky world – peopled with cartoon characters and colourful poems.
In a session full of entertaining, interactive fun, children and teachers alike are taken on a roller-coaster rhyme ride that appeals both aurally and visually.
In the primary sector Chris provides an hour-long performance for years 1-6 followed by workshops for years 2-6 which can be of 30, 45, or 60 minutes’ duration, depending on timetable needs.
For secondary education the format is the same but aimed at year 7 (plus years 8-11 special needs).
**Chris signs all copies of his books purchased by students on the day of his visit.**
Don’t Put Dave in the Microwave!
This book may contain some of the following…
Men with huge heads! Nervous hamsters!
Stoopid people! Free money!
Ducks, genies, & crime-solving fish!
A voucher for eternal youth!
Daft drawings, ridiculous rhymes
& weird creatures!
Rubbish clowns, rubbish ghosts,
& rubbish in dustbins!
The secret to lifelong happiness!
Hairy things & guitar-playing ferrets!
To find out which of these are contained inside,
Do read this book.
Do try and enjoy it.
DON’T PUT DAVE IN THE MICROWAVE!!
Stumpy’s Big Adventure and The Beast From the East
Two fun-filled stories in one brilliant book!
Never Give a Duck a Pen
This is Chris White at his very best–a mad journey through the past ten years of Chris’ favourite poems, such as “Bitey The Veggie Vampire” and “Never Put Curry Up Your Nose.” Whatever Chris writes, his unique sense of humour seems to hit the funny bone every time. Children of all nationalities and cultures seem to have one thing in common–they all like to laugh! Chris White is the king of the belly laugh–you have been warned!
Shark in the Toilet
For Chris, writing also includes drawing. As a dedicated wielder of the drawing pen and paintbrush, Chris has doodled his way to fame both as an artist and cartoon illustrator, complementing his writing skills, and has won over an army of fans with his spectacular interactive poetry showcase. Many of Chris’s poems feature animals, and the ones in this latest collection are no exception. Amongst others there are the antics of show squirrel Zola, a fashion-conscious rabbit with pierced ears and make-up, and the vanity of Elephant John who uses anti-wrinkle cream. On the darker side, you can also find out about Rigor Mortis in my Tortoise, and the creation of the sinister Frankenhamster. Non-animal subjects veer wildly from the wacky to the bizarre, including the sprouty smell of The Boy Who Loved Brussels and the yearning of caveboy Ug for Y-fronts to warm his chilly bits.
Woof Woof the Cat
This book is packed full of witty poems for children of all ages. Filled with mind-blowing facts about weird and wonderful creatures, this highly entertaining collection of poems will delight both adults and children alike!
To purchase Chris’ books, click here.
Samples of Chris’ Poems
Click the “Play” button below to hear Chris perform one of his poems!
Carol the worm had no friends, I’m afraid,
Her life was one long toil.
She longed for another to burrow along
And join her in the soil.
Days turned to weeks, turned to months, turned to years,
And Carol was still alone.
No other worms came calling
At her quiet underground home.
So one day Carol took action and cried,
“I think that I have earned
My right to be happy and not miserable.
Today, this worm has turned!”
Carol’s a different worm these days,
She’s got loads of friends now;
She gets to speak with them every day,
Let me tell you how:
Carol bought a PC,
And all the friends she’s met
Are the product of being the world’s first worm
To be on the Internet!
Recommendations & Reviews
“Hi Chris, I hope your journey back to England was relaxing. You certainly deserved a rest! I promised the kids that I would email you and let you know how fantastic their poems turned out. They have all written ‘Chris White’ style …the results are amazing. One Parent (whose kid is a reluctant writer) came to tell me that her son was up until midnight writing poetry. She saw it as minor miracle and you as a miracle worker (which p……….. me off a bit because I have been trying to get the kid to write for 4 months and have never got any credit from the parents!)
We are now making all their poems into a book and we will send you a copy ASAP. Thanks for cheering up two whole dreary days. We feel soooooooo lucky to have had you with us…..although it was much too short. I told the kids that their (well your) poem brought tears to your eyes….at this point, two of my girls began to cry!!! They all felt very, very proud. We hope to see you again one day….and until then we will continue to write goofy, nutty and deliciously funny, poems. Take care now!” Sharon Stefanski, Munich International School, Grade 3 Coordinator
“Thought I’d share some news with you regarding one of the children here at Netherbrook who you met when you came to visit. His name is Ben, and since your visit he has become the school library poet in residence! To say that life has changed for Ben since he discovered poetry is an understatement. He is more confident, his concentration is improving and he now feels that he has a special skill all of his own.I’m collecting Ben’s poems into a folder and will present them to him when he leaves in the summer. Thank you for your part in this little bit of magic, Very best wishes” Jo Avery, School Librarian, Netherbrook Primary School.
“Fabulous, fantastic, funny, wonderful, accommodating, entertaining, nice, helpful …We’ve had 2 wonderful days with Chris. What a breath of fresh air! I would like to book Chris for a whole week for Term 1 (2011) to help us celebrate “poetry” week. Can you let me know when he has a whole week free? We are sorting out next year’s calendar now, so we want to pencil him in. Anyway, I just want to say again how terrific he was and the teachers and kids would love to see him again – I even thought about locking him away in a cupboard!!” – Siobhan Roulston, Teacher Librarian (Primary), Garden International School, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
“I would just like to say thank you for giving us the opportunity to have Chris back in our school again. I have never seen our children so animated. It really was an amazing experience for them. Chris worked so hard throughout the day and I don’t think our children will ever forget him.” – Tracey Churchill, Literacy Coordinator, St Joseph’s Catholic Primary School, Derby, UK
“Chris was a huge success and all of the children had a lovely day. Thank you again for organising a wonderful day.” – Milly Cogan, Literacy Coordinator, St Peter & St Paul C of E Primary School, Leicester, UK
“I just wanted to write and let you know what a success Chris White’s visit was to St. Mary’s last Tuesday. Both children and staff were so impressed and entertained by Chris. His energy and spontaneity are amazing. I can tell you that I, and all our staff and children were roaring with laughter during his presentation at the beginning of the day! Many staff and children have made it their business to stop me and tell me how much they enjoyed Chris’ visit. So much so that we would like to book him again for next year! Chris made a fantastic impact on our school in the sense that children who normally never like writing poetry have decided to put pen to paper during their Golden Time (when they get to do whatever they like). Your team do a fantastic job to ensure that poetry (and Literacy in general) can be a lot of fun! Many thanks from all of us.” – Eimear Davis, Deputy Head Teacher, St. Mary’s Catholic Primary School, Loughborough, Leicestershire, UK
“We had a fantastic day today with Chris. He is absolutely brilliant! There were so many great comments from teachers and pupils. Chris was so funny, and he was able to hold the attention of every pupil from Primary 1 to Primary 7. Thank you for arranging the visit for us.” – Liz Simms, Downshire Primary School, Hillsborough, Northern Ireland
“We had the most amazing time with Chris. The children and staff all loved him and we got so much out of his visit! Thanks once again!” – Amy Ross, Literacy Coordinator, Knaresborough St John’s CofE Primary School, UK
“We loved Chris’s visit to Firle. He had a brilliant way of connecting with the children and his way of teaching poetry through drawing is one that has inspired the staff to say they will try in a similar way next time they teach poetry. The poems the children wrote with Chris have been made into class books that have been shared with parents. My Reception class still talk about the day he came in and point out to visitors the illustration of Rainbow Dash on our display board – they can remember what all the animals’ parts are. Many thanks to you for organising it all and big thanks to Chris for inspiring both the children and staff.” – Literacy Subject Leader, Firle CE Primary School, East Sussex, UK
“Three letters: FAB!!! The staff and I did not expect Chris to be so energetic, funny and to have such a tremendous way with the children. He should come into schools with a health warning: ‘Side splitting and sore cheeks from smiling and laughing may occur!’” – Paul Rowe, Headteacher, Emmbrook Junior School, Wokingham, UK
“Chris really entertained us today. He was hilarious and very talented. Everybody had such a good time and the children produced great cartoons and poems. Even the children who find writing difficult, or who are usually hard to motivate, were fired up and couldn’t wait to finish their poems. Some went on to do more cartoons and poems in the afternoon. The humour really appealed!” – Sharon Cliff, Literacy Coordinator, Ringmer Primary School, East Sussex, UK
“Our day with Chris White was excellent. The children particularly enjoyed the whole school performance and it was great to see all children (and staff!) participating with enthusiasm. The poetry workshop sessions allowed every single child to achieve and they all produced a poem to be proud of, many of which are now copied out and displayed in classrooms. A super day! Thank you!” – Nicky Aston, Headteacher, Eastern Green Junior School,
“A bundle of energy on stage. Lots of audience participation and drawing – from the children in the audience, too. Very funny – a kind of Young Person’s Stand-up Comedian Poet.” – Roger Stevens
“Chris White was marvellous, entertaining, interactive fun… most enjoyable for kids and staff…” – Waterstone’s, High Street, Birmingham
“On behalf of the school administrative team, teachers and students, I wanted to thank you again for a great visit. All the presentations and workshops were well received by teachers and students alike. Many teachers came up to me after your presentations and said Chris White was the best author visit we’ve had so far – and we have had some amazing authors, and storytellers.
The interactive presentations were immediately engaging, and had the students hooked. Lots of laughter, actions and a safe place to be crazy in an anything goes atmosphere! The fact that Chris had Grade 1 students on the edge of their seats wanting more after 45 minutes was a sure sign of how successful the presentations were – it’s hard to keep the attention of young students, many of whom are ELL students, but Chris did so in style.
I hope we can get Chris to visit Korea when I move there! He seems game for any adventure, and that was a pleasant attribute – to have an author who was flexible, easy going, ready for anything, and fitted into the schedule with ease.”
Vivien Sewell, Teacher Librarian at KAUST School, Saudi Arabia.
To Make a Booking
To make an enquiry about Chris White, or any of the other authors, poets & illustrators listed on this website, please phone Trevor Wilson on +44 (0) 1535 656015 or email him at email@example.com